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Work and your family

Many people want to say, “when I leave work and go home, I leave work behind.” That is just not true. With phones, social media, emails, logging into office networks, and contacting employees, most of us do not leave work behind. We take the job and stress of work home with us.

When you take the stress of work home with you, you tend to pass it onto your spouse and your children. Stress can make you snap at your spouse, become more impatient with your children, and instead of a home-cooked meal, sit the children in front of the television with take-out, instead of having a genuine conversation about the day. Pick a fight with your spouse about the most insignificant thing and then go to bed in a huff and ruin the entire evening all because you brought the stress of the job home with you.

I know, I know, I’m preaching to the choir. I do the same thing. I let one email, phone call, text, conversation, or one event get on my nerves. That, my friend, is all it takes for me to get started on my rampage. My patience goes right out the door for the rest of the evening, you can forget about having a conversation about anything else. I’m all hyped up about something that I can never change, but I feel that I need to vent 326 hours about it and then get mad about it and get my spouse so upset that we both go to bed aggravated.

If you think about we come home stressed. Our spouse and children visibly see the stress they want to help, but they know they can not do one thing about it. They get stressed and feel helpless, which makes them stressed and turns the whole household into a frenzy.

Another battle that we face is that we constantly bring work home. We work a full-time job and moonlight. So, we work our full-time, eight-hour job and come home to our side-hustle. We aren’t getting the amount of rest we need. We are constantly in work mode. We do not know how to rest. We walk around like a boss directing our spouse and children like employees. Our spouse and children aren’t employees. They are our loved ones.

With all of this, what can we do to stop the vicious cycle? I am not saying I am perfect because I am not. I am caught up in this 99.9% of the time myself. My spouse asks me to put down the phone, IPad, stop creating content, work from home, stop the craziness, and the stress is just too much for both of us! There are a couple of methods that we are trying to stop the craziness.

Take a weekend once a month for us – It may be a stay-at-home weekend or out of town, but it’s us! No work, just fun. A picnic, a walk at the park, cooking, baking, sleeping late, watching a movie – a “us” weekend.

Put down all work after 7 pm – It doesn’t matter if the world is on fire. At 7 pm, everything is on mute, everything that involves work, and we make time for ourselves!

Every morning we start our day with devotion – Life is crazy, but taking time to read the Word of God together has helped us so much!

Texting and calling each other throughout the day – Stress can be so overwhelming, but if we can send that one little text or that short call telling each other we love each other, that makes all the difference.

If you and your spouse are further ahead in your journey than we are, please let us know. What are the methods you use to help deal with stress?

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